


Blue Veins

by neonjays



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Blood, Cutting, Dreams, Dreams and Nightmares, Gore, Nightmares, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, cole helps the jay, ho boi this is a doozy, i put this on ff.net too because idk, jay is a sad, kind of its not that bad at all i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-12
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-05-19 20:30:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5980113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neonjays/pseuds/neonjays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was in a field then, the sun shining down against the tall, wind-blown grass. The sea of green that came up to his knees hid his bruised legs below. Before him was a familiar face, adorned with a familiar smile. All along his friend's arms were bleeding wounds. "Look at this." Cole began. "I used to be just like you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue Veins

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy what a doozy this story is my bad for ruining all five of you here

The room was incredibly dark, full of soot, full of ashes. Full of embers falling lightly down onto the carpet. He slowly rose out of bed, no feeling in his legs. He strained to keep upright and leaned his body against the warm wall. "Jay," A faint voice called from the other room. "I need to speak with you."   
  
The young man clambered through the short hallway and entered what used to be a living room, now charred and grey. There sitting in the chairs were Ed and Edna. "Why are you even here?" Edna continued.   
  
Jay was taken back by the question. "Wh-why am I here? I'm your son of course!"   
  
Ed shook his head with a smirk. "You aren't our boy. You were the daughter of Cliff. You were born of a sinful man."   
  
"You are no son of mine." Edna's face grew into a demonic display of rainbow colors, shooting out in all directions, growing like veins against the trailer walls, taking root in the surface of the ground. "You little bitch."    
  
Jay began to tremble, racing away as the two crumbling figures behind him began tugging at his clothing, ripping to shreds the skin on the back of his legs. He fell down and cried out in pain. Two beings of death loomed above. "Look at you!" The screamed horrifically. A spine grew through the taller's mouth and shot the ninja of lightning through the chest. Blood spurted out into the air, forming tiny droplets of topaz blue. A blow to the ear and a ringing burst out through the place. "Look at you!" They screeched again. A quick movement and he could feel his insides being crushed by the weight of two demons. Grimy, skeletal hands began clutching his neck, forcing breath from his lungs, spewing more blood from the hollow of his chest. He couldn't breathe anymore. "How come you never can tell them how you feel! Doesn't it feel like so now?"   
  
A scream rang out through the halls of the Destiny's Bounty, quickly muted by the artist of said noise. Jay had shot up out of bed and was shivering violently. His heartbeat was racing. Beads of sweat rolled down his forehead. Clutched in his hand was the edge of his shirt, which was now cautiously wrapped around his neck. Quickly he flung off the article of clothing and worked to regain consciousness of reality. _It_ _  was a dream _ . He chanted in his head. He was sick of these nightmares. He was sick of feeling badly. He was sick of himself. Slowly, he drew himself up out from under the heavy, tangled sheets and retrieved a new shirt from the dresser. Alongside the light blue tee was something he'd placed in that top drawer. Glimmering in the moonlight he could see the tip of his old pocketknife, resting in the back of the wooden compartment. A thought crossed his mind and he quickly pushed it away. It returned hastily, making its way to the front of Jay's brain and resting there for the being to gnaw on. A shaky hand began reaching for the blade. Soon the ninja of lightning was holding it with a tight grip.  _ Perhaps one more scratch wouldn't hurt. Perhaps he could just feel the nightmare slip out _ . Slowly, Jay inched his way down the hallway and into the bathroom. Flicking the lights on he could see just how poorly he looked: hair a mess, eyes dull, and skin pale as his body allowed. He wiped away the sweat from his brow and continued looking at the small knife, opening it and letting the blade press against his finger. His eyes began to fill with tears at all the things flooding towards him. All that warranted the upcoming action. In one smooth motion, he brought the pocketknife to his already scarred wrist and slid it downward against the skin. Behind it a wound opened up, letting a trickle of blood begin to flow.    
  
Jay felt miserable.   
  
He did it again, this time, ever so slightly longer, letting the blade linger in the cut until it hurt too much. He sank to his knees in a crying mess and held his arm over the bathtub. One more slice and he was in misery, sighing at how it felt. The blood dripping into the surface of the tub made him feel sick. How long would he let it bleed? Maybe he would let it until he died. He realized, then, that he wouldn't truly care whether he did or not.    
  
_ They never cared. _ _   
_   
He squinted as the blood flow began leaving interesting designs in the watery bathtub ground. The designs swirled down into the drain. His vision began swirling along with it, eventually to the point where spots began growing over his already bleary vision.    
  
_ I'm such a failure. _ _   
_   
"But you aren't."    
  
He was in a field then, the sun shining down against the tall, wind-blown grass. The sea of green that came up to his knees hid his bruised legs below. Before him was a familiar face, adorned with a familiar smile. The sunlight reflected off the figure's thick black hair. His arms, crossed behind his back, quickly were lashed out and Jay was suddenly directly before them. All along his friend's arms were bleeding wounds. "Look at this." Cole began. "I used to be just like you."   
  
"I never knew."    
  
Then blood began pouring out of Cole's wounds. "I could have died. I never would have met Sensei. I never would have met the others. I never would have met you."   
  
"But you are so strong! So worthy to live! How could you have thought that?"   
  
Cole's smiled faded away. "Jay, you too are strong and worthy of life. You could you have that that  _ you _ needed to die?"   
  
"I'm not strong. And I keep having these nightmares, nightmares that remind me of all the things I've done. All the things I am."   
  
"What you are is scared."   
  
Jay changed his worried expression to that of annoyance. "Excuse me?"   
  
A heavy wind began to blow. Cole's arms had now grown into tree vines, creating more scenery of the land. Jay's feet stood rooted to the ground. "Jay...you are important to the team and you are important to me. You saved Ninjago all on your own. Is that not enough?"   
  
"I...no...I'm so selfish." Jay mumbled softly.   
  
"You are hurt."   
  
"I am sorry."   
  
"You are loved."   
  
Jay shook his head. "You guys don't want to be around me."   
  
"But we do. And we will miss you."   
  
"Am I going to die?"   
  
"It's up to you."   
  
The figure turned to ashes - and so did the world around. It crumbled into a heaping pile of smoke, causing Jay to choke on the heavy air. Slowly, he breathed in heavily, and began walking forward.   
  
The sound of a teapot reaching its brink and letting out steam startled him. He slowly opened his eyes and stared forward, seeing the popcorn ceiling all too familiar to the Destiny's Bounty living room. Slowly, he regained realization of the situation, and frantically took hold of his left wrist and marveled at the carefully patched bandages atop his self-inflicted wounds. He could hear from the kitchen two voices speaking, that of Cole, and that of Sensei Wu. A head peaked around the corner and the ninja of earth came running in. "Jay! You're awake!" Sensei Wu was following closely behind. "I-I was so scared when I found you I was going to call 911 but Sensei said you would wake up alright..."   
  
Jay noticed the dizzy feeling still flooding into his head. No other words could leave his tongue except "oh."   
  
Sensei Wu left the room and returned with a cup of tea. "Drink this, it will help you to feel better." After handing off the hot beverage to a nearby stool, he went back off into the kitchen, leaving his two pupils to talk.   
  
"W-what did you find?" The redhead asked timidly.   
  
Cole sighed deeply. "I woke up when I heard a scream. I thought it was just part of my dream...but something felt wrong. I eventually went the bathroom and...I saw you, bleeding and unconscious."   
  
"I'm so sorry." Jay said with tears pricking the edges of his eyelids.    
  
"D-don't be, o-okay? Hey...whatever...whatever caused you to do this...I wanna talk about it with you, alright? But not now. You need rest. And don't think I'm leaving you alone for the rest of the night."  Cole put his arms in the air to emphasize his last words. Then Jay could see faint, faded marks running up Cole's forearms, marks he hadn't noticed before.   
  
Jay nodded in the optionless agreement. He took a sip of the warm tea as Cole looked to him with compassion.    
  
"Next time, let me know if you feel like doing something like this." Cole's voice was quavering slightly. "Also, your parents I texted and. They were worried sick. They really care about you, alright?"   
  
Jay nodded again. Only a little amount of time passed before he nodded off again. This time, he dreamed about his friends and family, all caring for him.    
  
_ Because you are strong, Jay. You can do it. _ __   
  


**Author's Note:**

> neonjays.tumblr.com


End file.
